I was a little confused considering I felt the previous week was pretty relaxed. She was making this assumption based on pictures I had posted on social media.
Her: "Oh, is that a normal week for you?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess so."
And, honestly, that's the truth. That is our normal pace. We go places and we do things. And I like to share it mostly because I love when other people share their happy moments, whether it's at the aquarium or at the kitchen table.
While I do think experiencing new things is great for our kids, I don't take our kids places because I feel like I have to, nor is it simply because I want to. It's because that is where I am a better, more present mom. When we're out exploring and visiting new places I am constantly engaged and living in the moment with my kids.
When I'm home, I am way more easily distracted by housework, phone calls, and my endless to-do list. Obviously, we have days where we stay home and watch movies and do crafts but being a mom is a balancing act and my balance leans toward let's-go-do-something.
This is not the case for every single mom. If this is not the case for you, if you prefer being home with your kids, relax. It's okay. This is not a competition. There are adventure moms. There are crafty moms. There are cooking moms. There working moms. There are homebody moms. You need to be whatever type of mom that makes you present with your kids.
The amount of places you go does not up your ranking in motherhood. The amount of seasonally appropriate crafts you complete with your kids or the amount of Pinterest-perfect baked goods you deliver to preschool does not make you a better mom than others.
None of those things are bad so if they are your "thing" then do you, mama. But know this, our kids are going to remember our smiles and our laugh. They will remember our jokes and our hugs. They'll remember our snuggles and our prayers we pray over them at bedtime. They will remember our voices as we read their favorite stories and sing their favorite songs. They will remember if we played when we said we would.
They will remember whether or not we were present with them.
So go where you are a present mama. Do what makes you a present parent. If someone else is doing something "better" than you, know that there is most likely something you are doing better than them. You don't have to be a perfect mom to be a damn good mother.
Let me say that a little louder for the mamas in the back: you don't have to be a perfect mom to be a damn good mother.
If being out with your kids is not where you feel you are at your best, don't feel pressured to do that all the time. If sprinkles on the floor stress you out, don't decorate cookies. If kids craft projects give you heart palpitations, skip it. If you do less in the areas that you struggle, you will have more energy to do more in the areas you excel. Here is where you'll get closer to finding your balance.
Perfect moms don't exist, damn good mothers do.
Mother on, friends. We got this.
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